I Drive Myself Crazy
by eatmydustxo
Summary: 'I think that you know you're in love when you kiss them and you get butterflies in your tummy.' Carlos/Logan slash. Review, requests welcome. x
1. The One With The Butterflies

Carlos slowly pushed Logan's door open, peering through the dark to the figure on the bed. He padded over, bare feet on soft carpet, and stood next to the bed, putting on his helmet and thinking hard.

What was that Kendall had said in the interview? 'I think that you know you're in love when you kiss them and you get butterflies in your tummy.' Carlos loved Logan. Well, he thought he did, anyway, so it was worth a try, right?

He knelt on the bed and placed his hands next to Logan, hesitating before leaning down and slowly pressing his lips against Logan's.

Logan woke up with a start. Was someone kissing him?

He blinked and looked around. Sitting next to him was what appeared to be Carlos. Logan knew he'd just been kissed. Did Carlos kiss him? "What on earth did you do that for?" The dark haired man finally demanded stuttering slightly and blushing a deep shade of red.

Now even more baffled than before, Carlos raised both brows and tried to explain his action to the other man. "Logie, it's just a kiss. You know, a kiss. How to explain this?" He finally looked up at Logan. "Kendall said you get butterflies." He trailed off, shrugging slightly at the taller man.

"...What?"

"In my tummy. Kendall said you get butterflies in your tummy. When you kiss the one you love."

"Really now..." The dark haired man said to Carlos softly. There was something in the tone Logan used that made the latino gulp very nervously. "Well... Did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"Those butterflies in your tummy?"

Carlos continued to stare up at the taller man and eventually nodded slightly to Logan. He leant in towards Logan and he let his lips gently touched those of Logan's in a soft kiss.

Logan felt so warm and soft and he fit perfectly into Carlos' arms. It felt so wrong and right at the same time but Logan stopped thinking ad deepened the kiss. Carlos ran his tongue over Logan's lips and took in his taste and smell. They both reluctantly broke the kiss and smiled at each other.

"Well that felt good." was all that broke the silence. Logan nodded in agreement.


	2. Forgive me Father for I love Carlos Pena

Logan liked to spend the night with Carlos in his room, despite Carlos' many bad habits like eating all the food in the fridge and leaving his socks hanging in his bathroom. Logan liked leaving messages on the bathroom mirror, post-it notes that say _you forgot to put the cap back on or don't forget to floss _that Carlos would find long after he's gone and keep folded in the dresser drawer to look at from time to time.

Whenever he couldn't sleep, Logan would pad into Carlos' bedroom and worm his way under the covers, his knees cold when he pushed them behind Carlos', their legs woven together between the blankets.

"Your hair is so soft," he'd say, "And fuzzy." And he'd laugh and turn Carlos around, the tip of his nose pressed against Carlos' ear, short little breaths that make the hair on Carlos' neck stand on end and something inside him unspool like threads.

"Do you want to kiss?" Carlos would say.

It seemed almost impossibly perfect sometimes, how he and Logan just understand each other. He touched Logan between the shoulderblades and the tension between them unravels. He touched the back of Carlos' hand and Carlos' shoulders curl and he shivered.

He kissed Carlos and Carlos' bones shook. It's just something to do. _Forgive me Father for I love him_, he thought.

* * *

><p>"Just tell her you're gay."<p>

"Just tell her I'm gay," Logan repeated incredulously, shaking his head. "Yeah, because that's a _brilliant _idea."

James shrugged, not looking away from the screen, thumbs pummelling at the control pad as if his life depended on it. It summed it up, Logan thought, the indifference. His entire life was about to fall apart and James couldn't give a toss.

"You'll have to tell her at some point," James said, grimacing as the pixellated enemy advanced. "Might as well be now."

"I can't," Logan protested. He'd kept it quiet for a very good reason: His mother would kill him.

"You told me and Kendall," James countered.

That had been bad enough. James gaping at him as if he'd just said he was growing a second head out of his armpit. If it weren't for the realisation that he was no longer a competitor for the attention of the female student body, Logan got the impression James might still be giving him the cold shoulder, even now.

There was a crash on the television and James threw the pad down in disgust, 'game over' flashing across the screen. He finally got James' focussed attention and he had to concentrate on keeping his mind on the issue at hand.

"It's simple, Logie," James told him, slouching back against his pillows. "You either tell her or you get married. It's up to you." James grinned then, cheeks dimpling, "But, if you do, I have to be your best man."

Logan frowned. He hadn't even thought that far.

James was oblivious.

"Cos, if I'm best man, I'll have to sleep with the bridesmaid. It's tradition."


	3. Loving You With All My Heart's A Crime

**Author's Note: _Thank you again for reading and for leaving me such kind reviews. You guys really encouraged me to keep writing! I will write more next time (and I mean it as I can't stand short chapters). I didn't want to drag the story out. Major plots start on the next chapters._**

* * *

><p>"I want the green horsey! C'mon Logie, I know that little girl's going to take it if we don't hurry up!" Carlos grabbed his boyfriend's hand, pulling him through the small crowd to the biggest pair of horses on the merry-go-round. One was blue with purple and gold reigns; the other was green with silver and red reigns. Carlos hopped on the latter with a grin about to break his face. Logan sighed in amusement and climbed side-saddle onto the blue horse.<p>

"This is one of the best rides here, you know." Carlos said to the boy he had been dating for 2 months now.

"What about the Ferris Wheel? Power Tower? The Demon Drop? The Top Thrill Dragster? Anything else you can only find here?" Logan commented as the carousal began to slowly spin.

"Nope, just the Merry-Go-Round, silly." He reached over and grabbed Logan's hand. "I know this might be scary for you, so I'll hold your hand." Carlos winked at his boyfriend.

"Yes, I am quite terrified of this spinning carousal as I sit on a blue horse. Please do comfort me."

"It's okay to admit your feelings. I won't judge you." Carlos kissed Logan's hand, making Logan blush slightly. "I love you, Logie." Logan felt his heart jump slightly. For some reason, whenever Carlos told him those three words, his heart would go on the verge of bursting.

He loved it. He loved Carlos.

Logan leaned in and kissed Carlos, squeezing his hand a bit tighter.

_I love you, Carlos. I love you more than anyone else.. I always will._

* * *

><p>An important thing about Logan is that he loved his mom so much. He didn't care if other guys thought he was a "momma's boy"; his mom had always been there for him, and the fact that she tolerated his friends at all was enough.<p>

Logan decided it was finally time to come out to his mom. Yes, come out of the closet. Logan Mitchell, the genius of Big Time Rush, was gay. He decided, he'd been hiding it for far too long now that he'd been dating Carlos for almost 3 months.

That night, after the rest of the band had fallen asleep, Logan crept out of the room. He closed the door behind him softly and listened for a few moments; he could hear his mom typing something on her laptop, grateful that Ms. Knight had already gone to sleep. Carefully, he slipped into the swirly slide and landed soundlessly at the bottom.

Mrs. Mitchell looked up and squinted. "Hortence, sweetheart?" she asked. "What are you doing up?"

"Remember when I said I needed to talk to you about something?" He walked closer to where his mom sat at the kitchen table, standing awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, of course," she murmured. She smiled kindly at her son. "What were you going to tell me?"

"Umm…" Just like Logan expected, he was choking on the words. Taking a deep breath, he tried so hard not to blurt out the word 'BLEEP-BLAP-BLOOP'. "Mom, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner. I guess I wasn't sure.. but I'm ready to tell you now." He looked at the floor, mumbling, "Mom, I'm gay."

Logan kept his eyes focused solely on his bare feet, scrunching and un-scrunching his toes nervously. This outburst was followed by a painful five seconds of absolute silence. Logan's stomach turned over, and he gulped.

"Are you sure?" was all that she managed to choke out.

Logan blushed down to his collarbone. "Yes. I've been dating Carlos for almost 3 months now, mom. I love him. It's.. the only thing I'm certain of," he confessed in a hurried whisper.

"Can you change?" Mrs. Mitchell asked in a thick, cold voice this time. The kind of voice that made Logan get a chill up his spine.

"No."

Mrs. Mitchell's facial expression changed when she heard her son's answer. She looked either overwhelmingly angry or unbelievably depressed. Suddenly, Logan heard the scraping of a chair across the hardwood, and then his mom's hoarse voice.

"You're going home. Pack your bags and I'm bringing you back home."


	4. Don't Want To Miss You Tonight

Carlos woke up drenched in sweat. It was the middle of the night. He could see the moon out of his window.

He found it beautiful most days but that day it terrified him. The dream he just had was... Interesting, in a very scary sort of way. He was on a cliff, he didn't know what he was doing. His head was on his knees and tears were streaming down his cheeks.

He vaguely remembered a hand. A warm hand, wiping his tears away. A breeze had caught on the cliff and it whispered his imprint. A voice. It whispered softly in my ear. He looked up and the moon was a strange color. A reddish-orange. It was frightening. Now, in the dark. He felt afraid.

Carlos crept out of bed and walked out of his bedroom and into Logan's just to find the tidy room was empty. It was unusually neat but he didn't notice. "Logie?" he called out softly, not wanting to wake everyone else up.

No response.

He went down to the swirly slide and walked down the hall looking for Logan but he was nowhere to be found. "L-Logie?" His stomach dropped as he rushed to the bathroom.

"Logie?" One last look on the far side of the bed confirmed his fear.. he had left.

Wandering back down the hall he glanced in the dining room and spied a note on the dining room table. Logan had placed it under a pink rose and a white gardenia.

Carlos instantly took it and opened it eagerly. His heart was pounding so hard. It was beating so loud that he could almost hear it.

He inhaled deeply and started to read the letter that was meant for him.

'My dear Carlitos,

I hope you are not angry with me for leaving. I told mom about us and apparently she isn't all too happy about it. She got us plane tickets back to Minnesota and the flight is in about 4 hours from now. I could've woke you up but I knew that it would be difficult for us to part.. I know I'll see you again someday.

These past few months have been the best ever. I can't explain how much I'm going to miss you. I wish I didn't have to leave but everything has a beginning and an end. I unexpectedly fell in love with you and now we'll be separated by miles and miles. I'm going to miss you, Carlitos, that's all I wanted you to know.

One more thing: Big Time Rush must go on. Don't just split up because of me. You might want to find someone to replace me. Tell James, Kendall, Mrs. Knight, Katie, Camille and everyone else I said goodbye and that I'll miss them.

And, PLEASE, take care of yourself.. you know how much I worry about you!

I love you.

_Logie_.'

Tears were now falling on his cheeks as he finished reading the letter. How he wished that this was just a joke or a prank.

He ran his hand across his face and sighed. He realized that Logan was probably right and did the best thing for them both.. but God. He just wanted to see Logan's face one more time before he went home.

Then out of nowhere, Mrs. Knight suddenly appeared, studying the Latino boy's face. He slowly approached her and quickly wiped his own tears away.

"H-he's gone.." Carlos couldn't help but cry when he said that.

Mrs. Knight gently wrapped her arms around him. She kissed his forehead and gently caressed his back as she whispered, "Don't cry Carlos. He will come back for you. I know he will."

* * *

><p>Mrs. Mitchell glanced at her son who was sitting next to her in the backseat of the cab. They were on their way to the airport and Logan had been giving her the silent treatment ever since they left his and his friends' apartment. In a way, she shouldn't be surprised. Logan's the sensitive type, always had been.<p>

The look in Logan's eyes had said it all, disappointment and hurt shining as clear as a full moon on a cloudless summer sky.

"It's for the best, Hortense," she whispered, glad that the division was up between them and the driver. She couldn't accept the fact that her son, her only son, was gay. Did he really turn gay or was he just confused? She was too angry and frustrated to yell or even think.

"I love you. You know that, don't you?" Mrs. Mitchell's voice raised an octave in slight desperation.

"I thought I knew, but right now I'm not so sure," Logan said, shaking his head slightly, not looking at his mother.

He continued looking out the window of the cab. _I have to find a way to get out of here_, he thought. It hadn't even been an hour but he'd already started to miss Carlos. He just needed to see Carlos' face one more time since he might not be able to see him anymore.

Logan could feel the cab slow down. _Thank you, God_, he thought. He knew this was his chance to see the love of his life for the last time. His mother was just about to say something when he abruptly slammed the door open. He got out of the cab quickly and started running down the street, totally ignoring his mother who was calling out his name.

Once he was at a far enough distance, he slowed down and caught his breath. He fished in his pocket for his phone and called Carlos on speed dial.

"Come on, pick up your phone!"

Logan tapped his foot impatiently on the ground, growing more frustrated by the second. It was bad enough that it had begun to rain.

"Hello?"

Logan grinned. "Hey, it's me."

"Logie! Are you okay? Are you still at the airport?"

His voice sounded concerned.

"I'm fine. I need to see you. Meet me at the Palmwoods Park?"

"Aren't you gonna be late for your flight?"

* * *

><p>"See? I told you he'd come back," said Mrs. Knight cheerfully. "Now go get changed!"<p>

Carlos dashed for the swirly slide, scrambling up onto the ledge and went straight into his room to put on his jeans and his favourite t-shirt, the one Logan got him for his birthday.

"I'm ready," he told Mrs. Knight, his voice barely audible, sliding down the swirly slide.

"Don't forget your cellphone! Call me if you need anything," she reminded, pointing at his phone on the table.

He grabbed his phone quickly and headed to the door. He suddenly stopped and turned around to look at the sleepy middle-aged woman. He walked towards her and gave her a hug. "Thank you Mrs. Knight. You're the best!"

Carlos took one step at a time, yet walking quickly, almost running, toward the Palmwoods Park. He couldn't wait to see Logan, his dear boyfriend. Or was it ex-boyfriend now? He had almost reached the park when he heard a car brake and screech across the road behind him.

Eeeeeekkkk! Crash! Bam! A car from the road swerved off. It all happened in a split second. The dark haired boy that was just about to cross the road was fast but not fast enough as a car swerved onto the sidewalk and slammed into his body. He was pinned down and unmoving. Gasping from the bloody pain of it.

Carlos turned around and instantly his slight smile vanished as he took in everything he saw. He only gasped.

"Oh God. LOGIE?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:_ Okay, so here is chapter 4! I hope you like it. I know it's like really sad. I just love torturing my favourite characters! I apologize if there's any spelling or grammar errors. It's 11pm here, so yeah. Thank you for the reviews, favs, and alerts! Please Review? Give yo' feedback! I'd REALLY appreciate it!_**


	5. I Can't Stay Awake

Carlos could only watch as his beloved boyfriend draining of blood, slowly dying. He didn't stand there. All he did was get on his hands and knees telling him soothing words even though he knew that there was a big chance that he was going to die right there in front of his eyes.

He had forgotten all about the car. He was totally focused on Logan. When the man who hit him got out of the car. He was totally unharmed, and totally intoxicated. "Wha in da hell is goin' on in hurr? Oh shit I'd hits dis' fag! Rite der!"

Then he did something amazingly horrible. He started laughing.

Carlos almost lost control. Then he remembered what happened so he stayed calm and turned his attention back to Logan. "Logie.. Please stay awake. I beg of you, please." He cried out to Logan while holding him on his lap against his left.

The man was dirty and disgusting. He most likely had not showered in years. His eyes were sunken and his very pupils looked like they were absorbed into the white of his eyes. His features were jagged as his skin was pulled tightly clinging to his bones. He was a straight up bum. He had the nerve to say to him, "Who are you..." He pointed a finger to Carlos' chest as he got closer spewing saliva and bad breath, "Talkin' to dat lil faggot."

Carlos was horribly shocked but unafraid as he said, "You. Now get away from me." Carlos walked back to Logan. No one had ever said that to him up close. He shook it off all that he cared about right now was Logan.

* * *

><p>Logan felt pain all over his body. At first it was numb, but then it got stronger, and more searing. He could feel hot liquid oozing out and a heavy ache at the back of his head. He couldn't understand what was going on. It was all happening to fast, and he couldn't hear or see anything clearly. It was like he was trapped inside his own small bubble, disconnected from the rest of the world. But then, something – or someone- reached out to his. A pair of hand where touching his, running around his body, but he could barely feel it, like the hands of a ghost. Then he heard a voice. A voice he remembered.<p>

"Logie? Logie, can you hear me?" the voice called through the bubble, though it was muffled and hard to hear.

"What's going on?" he asked, only to find that the burning pain return even more strongly to his chest.

"Can you see me?" the voice asked, not bothering to answer his question. He tried to focus through the panic and confutation, wanting to see whom the voice belonged to.

"You're blurry… you're moving too fast… everything's going to fast…" he pointed out, the pain growing once more.

"We're getting help now. You're going to be okay," the voice told him, before the hands began to press down against the back of his head, making the pain even worse. He tried to push them of, but he was just pinned down once more. "Don't get up," the voice told him. "C-can you move your legs?"

"Do you want me to dance or something?" he asked, having do idea why the voice would ask a question like that.

"Did something hit me?" he asked, not really sure what had happened.

"Just, don't move, alright? Just hang on, okay? Just hang on!"

A sudden blazing pain began to shoot through his body, forcing a loud, pleading cry to escape from his lips, as he tried desperately to clutch onto something, anything. Once of the hands drifted to his head, gently cupping around his cheek. It was warm and comforting. The voice spoke again. "Come on, Logie! You can get through this, you have to."

"I'm… I'm really tired…" he silently begged the voice, feeling the space around him start to get dark and cold, though the pain still didn't leave. The one thing he wanted the most at that point was to join with the darkness, to slip away with it.

"No! You can't sleep now, do you hear me? You can't sleep, no, you have to stay awake!" the voice shouted at him, though it was more distant this time, like it was drifting away.

"But… it really hurts…" he told it, as the pain started to reach unbearably levels, the thick liquid spreading everywhere. "If I sleep… it'll stop, right?"

"No! You have to stay awake. Come on, Logie, stay with me… stay awake… stay alive… stay… please…"

But he couldn't do it anymore. The pain was too much for him. He began to let himself drifted away, losing his grip on that strange place with the voice and hands. He let himself slip into the darkness, to tired to hold onto the light, trying to make it all stop.

* * *

><p>Carlos paced up and down the hospital corridors, too anxious to sit down for more then a couple of minutes. He was still smeared with crimson blood, which was now starting to dry and turn a little deeper shade, almost brown. He had been too distracted to ask if he could have a pair of scrubs or even to wash it of.<p>

How could this have happened? How could Logan actually get himself hit by that disgusting drunken old man? If he had just left with his mother to the airport then this wouldn't have happened. But no, he had to choose a time like that to get all sweet and romantic. But that was Logan for you, completely unpredictable.

"Carlos!" called a desperate voice from behind him. Turning around he found Mrs. Knight, Kendall, James and Katie running up to him. Mrs. Knight pulled him into a tight, warm hug. "What happened? I got a call from someone saying that someone got hit by a car. Are you okay? Oh, my god, it wasn't you, was it?" Pulling away she saw all the drying blood on him and looked like she was about to scream.

"I'm all right! I'm okay, I didn't get hit," Carlos said quickly, trying to calm her down as he sat her down on a spear chair.

"B-but… but, but all that blood! …Wh-who… who did? Get hit, I mean?" James asked, his hands quivering with shock.

"It… it was Logan…" he admitted, not completely sure how to put it gently to them. He didn't do a very good job of it. Mrs. Knight's eyes widened with fear and disbelief, before she rested her hands into her cupped palms, her whole body shaking, like she was trying not to cry. Carlos bit his bottom lip before he started crying.

"Is… is he going to be okay?" Kendall asked nervously, his question muffled by his hands.

"I-I don't know," Carlos admitted, as Kendall and James sat beside him and pulled him into a warm, comforting hug. That was what was getting to him the most was knowing that his boyfriend was hurt, people were trying to save him and he couldn't do a thing to help.

* * *

><p>It was warmer now. Warm and quiet. The pain had almost stopped by now, in his head. He was free to float along peacefully, not having to worry about what was happening outside his bubble. He couldn't help but wonder if this was it. If this was what happened when you were dead. If so, it wasn't too bad, nothing near as bad as he had feared. But it was still dark. Very dark. He didn't like the dark. It hid things. A person, animals, all sorts of things, that's what scared him. But through the blackness he could here something. In what faint, but defiantly there. A low beeping notice.<p>

_Beep… beep… beep…_

* * *

><p>"Look, we don't care if we're not family, he's our best friend! We have every right to know what his condition is!" Kendall snapped at the old, blond doctor, who looked very scared of him.<p>

"S-sir," he tried to explain, but was cut of.

"Don't you dare 'sir' me, I am in no mood! You better tell me if he's going to live or not!" he yelled at him, grateful that his mother and sister had gone to get some coffee and wasn't listening in on their heated discussion.

The old doctor was so taken back that he couldn't even seam to get his words out, just opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Thankfully for his, an older doctor came from behind him to talk to them instead. "Sir, -"

"- Logan Mitchell has just come out of surgery, but he is still unconscious."

"So he's alive?"

"Yes, he's alive." Carlos, Kendall and James felt a small wave of relief come over them. "His condition is stable, for the time being, but we're not letting anyone see him for a while. He lost a lot of blood from the accident, and cracking his skull against the concrete didn't help him at all. We're still waiting for all the scans to come back, but as soon as they do you'll be the first to know."


	6. I Can't Remember Anything

**A/N:** _**Thank you all very much for you support and want for this story to continue. It got me so jazzed up that I decided to write another chapter. This is a shout out to anyone who wants a say in this story. If there is anything, anything at all that you would like me to put in here, then please feel free to tell me. Seriously, anything, I am very open-minded and will look at anything you put forward.**_

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><p>Waking up in a strange place is always unnerving and a little scary. But to Logan, it was terrifying. He hadn't a clue where he was. Wait, he did know, he could tell by the look, smell and defiantly smell, but what he didn't know was how he had gotten there.<p>

He was strapped to one of those machines that beeped a lot with his heartbeat, which at the moment was quickening a bit. They always freaked him out a bit, because he thought that any second it would just go flat and he'd be dead. Stupid really, but it was enough to put him off. But the thing that made him fell sick to his stomach was the needle stuck in the crook of his arm, directing some sort of chemical into his body. He hated needles.

And he hated the very thought of something begin pumped into his body. What was in the body stayed in the body, he didn't want or need anything else inside. Suddenly, he realised that his eyes where rapidly filling with tears, which spilt freely down his cheeks. He couldn't understand this. He knew that he was a crybaby, but he hadn't ever cried about just waking up somewhere strange.

Just then, a young nurse came into the room, and stared at him for half a second, as if in shock, before smiling brightly at him. This made him blush a little, before quickly wiping away the stray tears from his face. "Good morning sleepy head," she told him happily. Too happily. Almost sickly sweet. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled politely. If there was one thing that his parents had taught him, it was manners. Logan couldn't help but notice that his voice sounded a little strange, but tried to shake it off, it was probably just his imagination. She came over to the end of his bed, and looked down at his chart before placing it back down, the smile never leaving her face.

"I'll just go get the doctor," she told him. "Don't go anywhere." With that she quickly left the room. The doctor entered not a few seconds later, walking over towards him.

"Nice to see you're awake, Mr. Mitchell," he told him, as he too picked up the chart, before scribbling something down on it and putting it back. "I'm Dr. Humphrey. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Logan told him politely, though not sure why he had to answer the same question twice. The doctor checked him over, looking at his eyes, mouth and even ears. Logan didn't like this part at all, but he didn't protest.

"We'll you seem to be in full working order. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" he asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Nope."

"Okay, do you remember how you got hurt?"

Making his memory turn back, he tried to think of what had happened to him last. It was all really blurry, and he couldn't remember exactly what had happened. Looking down at his body, he quickly evaluated his injury. His head really hurt, and there a strong pain on his arm. He decided that the usual excuse would work.

"I fell down the stairs."

The doctor gave him a look, making him panic a little. He knew he wasn't very good at lying, but he still thought he was better then that. Thankfully though, he was saved by the bell. Or in this case, the beep. The doctors pager started to beep quickly, making him look down at it and stand up.

"You'll have to excuse me, Mr. Mitchell, I'll be back in a while. But, I'll send in your friends and family." Once again, he was left alone in the strange hospital room. The monitor began to 'beep' faster, along with his heart.

* * *

><p>"So… he's okay?" Mrs. Mitchell asked Mrs. Knight, as they sat down together in the corridor, each holding an untouched cup of coffee in their hands.<p>

"I think so," Mrs. Knight told the younger woman, though she wasn't really all that sure herself. The doctor had said that Logan was stable, but with all that other stuff he said, he wasn't completely convinced.

"I do know one thing for sure."

"What's that?"

"As soon as we can see him, he's going to get an earful from me." Mrs. Knight gave a small laugh. That was a good sign that Mrs. Mitchell was comfortable enough to say something like that and she was calm enough to laugh at it. It broke the ice a little bit.

"Mrs. Mitchell?"

Both mothers looked up to find the doctor from before walking over to them. "Is my son okay?" Mrs. Mitchell asked quickly.

"He seems okay. He's awake at the moment and you can see him now. But I have to warn you that - " But Mrs. Mitchell didn't stay around to hear the rest, as she immediately started to march down the corridor, focused only on getting to Logan and yelling at him for being such an idiot.

As soon as she entered, Logan looked up at him from the small, single hospital bed, a curious look on his face. "Can I help you?" he asked quietly. This only caused Mrs. Mitchell's anger to rise.

"Don't you dare play that game with me, Hortense!" she boomed at the young boy as soon as she stepped foot in his privet room. Logan practically jumped two feet in the air from shock, staring at the very angry woman, who made her way over to him.

"What in God's name where you thinking! Come on, I want to hear it, what where you thinking?"

Just as she was about to grab hold of Logan's shoulders and shake him roughly to get some of the anger out of her, Logan's arms shot up and covered his head, his body curling up into a protective position, his legs put against his chest and knees near his chin.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please!" he called out quickly, sounding completely desperate and helpless.

Mrs. Mitchell froze, blinking in confusion. She was mad at her son, but she didn't expect him to do anything like this from him. _Why is he acting like a child? _she thought. She thought for a second that he might have been faking it, but hearing his heart monitor speed up so much cancelled out that idea.

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, pulling her backwards to make room for the doctor, who had a very worried expression on his face. A second later she was practically dragged out of the room couple of nurses. Everyone hovered outside, wondering what on earth was happening, much like Mrs. Mitchell was.

* * *

><p>Logan hadn't a clue why that woman was so angry with him, or how she had even known his name, but he could tell that he was in serious trouble with her. Even now, as he sat alone in the room apart from the doctor who had thankfully come and rescued him for the time being. Still, he knew that the woman would get him eventually, which didn't help his nerves at all.<p>

"I'm sorry about that, Mr. Mitchell," the doctor apologized, though Logan wasn't sure why the doctor was apologizing for him.

"Who was that woman?" Logan asked quietly.

"That was your mother. You remember her... Don't you?"

Logan froze and did not respond.

"Horte- I'm sorry I mean, Logan, if you don't mind, I was wondering if you could answer some more questions for me, okay?"

"S-sure," he said awkwardly, trying to calm down a little, as the consent fast 'beeps' in the background where making him even more tense. _Why did he just call me Logan?_

"Okay, could you please tell me where you are?"

"The hospital?" he asked, unsure as to why the man would want to know something like that.

"No. The state," he corrected calmly.

"I'm in Minnesota."

Dr. Willows gave another one of his looks.

Another look. "Tell me, Logan, do you know the date?"

Why would a doctor want to know the date? Was he planning something soon? Still, Logan answered. "I think it's the 3rd of September, 2003." He wasn't completely sure about the date, but he was confident about the month and the year.

One more look. "So how old are you?"

"I'm ten years old."

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><p>"What do you mean, he has amnesia?" Carlos asked, dumbfounded.<p>

"It's not uncommon with head injuries," the doctor said, glancing over his shoulder at Logan, who sat on the edge of the bed as a nurse finished taping the bandage wrapped around his head into place.

"It's difficult to identify exactly what's been lost without extensive testing - but there's no reason to think it's not temporary. He knows who he is; he's just lost the past couple of years."

Carlos swallowed, because if that's true it means that Logan had lost everything they'd been to each other. "But it's not a permanent condition?"

"I wouldn't think so." The doctor patted Carlos' shoulder and added, "I'm sure he'll be back to normal in no time."


	7. I Don't Have A Mother

**A/N: _I want to thank every one who faved and reviewed to this story. I did wish for a few more reviews, but beggars can't be choosers, right? Anyways, here's the next part. I hope you like it. :)_**

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><p>Logan didn't understand.<p>

He didn't understand why that doctor had been asking him all those strange questions. He didn't understand why that woman had gotten so angry with him. He didn't understand why his father hadn't come in yet. But what made it worse was that no one was telling him anything! He was going crazy alone in that tiny room, and his imagination was running away with him, which was never a good idea.

Still, he was relieved hat they had taken all the wires and stuff out of him, including that heart rate thing and the IV. He shoved his thumb inside his mouth, and started to suck it. He knew that's really childish but he always do it when he's nervous or bored, and now was a time for both of those reasons.

Looking around, there wasn't really anything to do, until he saw a TV in the top corner of the room. He couldn't help but wonder how they even got it there. He spotted the remote on the bedside table, and decided that watching something might calm him down. Thankfully, he did find some cartoons, but he hadn't seen this one ever before.

There was a strange, small, blue blobby looking person, a very tall, red person with skinny legs, one arm and a wonky eye and a big smile, a large, purple monster with big horns and a Spanish accent, and a strange bird, airplane, plant looking thing that was laying coloured eggs and said 'coco' a lot. He raised an eyebrow. It defiantly looked weird, and really random, but after watching for a minute or two, he started to really enjoy it.

That was, before he was disturbed by a girl yelling in the corridor. Looking around, through the large window, which made the hallway visible, he saw Dr. Humphrey's arguing with a familiar looking girl, but he wasn't sure exactly who that girl was. He turned the volume of the TV a little, to try and listen into what was going on outside his room.

"There is no way that could happen!" the mad hollered, waving her arms around for emphasise.

"C-Camille…" the woman behind the brunette said, placing her hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. She looked really pretty. Logan was glad she was trying to calm the girl down. He hates it when people shout, it never ends well.

"Miss, if you do not lower your voice, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the doctor said, very sternly, glaring at her.

"Look, you can not honestly tell me that he has amn-" she began, pointing over through the glass in his direction, before looking over at him and glaring, not finishing her sentence.

Logan froze for a brief second, his body completely wrapped in fear, before quickly returning to his senses and ripping his thumb out of his mouth, pressing the 'off' button on the remote and casting his eyes downwards, not daring to move a muscle after that, though he did look cautiously at them from the corner of his eyes.

The girl, Camille, seemed to mutter something under her breath, shaking her head as she walked down the hall, out of his view, the doctor going the opposite way, leaving the woman standing by herself, looking a little torn, like she was trying to make her mind up about something.

After a few seconds, she looked back at him, smiled to herself, before heading for the door to enter his room. He gulped a little, and straightened his back up, but still keeping his eyes down. He didn't really like new people; He was not sure how to act around them. But he thought that his safest bet would be to be respectful to her. She slowly and carefully walked into the room, very gently walking over to him, so that her footsteps where very light and barely made a noise. She said silently down in the chair next to his bed.

"Hi honey," she greeted softly, smiling warmly.

"Hello," Logan said politely, though he wasn't really sure why she was acting like that. It was almost like she thought he was made of glass and would break if she did anything wrong.

"Hortense.. Dear, do you know who I am?" she asked, sounding a little upset, her eyes looking wide and saddened.

"Are you one of the neighbour ladies?" he asked carefully, not sure of his own answer. In truth, he hadn't seen her ever before in his life, though she did seem somehow familiar.

Apparently, that wasn't the right answer, because her head lowered in sadness and he saw her eyes filling with tears, before a few streamed down her cheeks. This defiantly shocked him. He hated it when people cry, almost as much as he did when they shout, but knowing that he was the one who had just mad her cry made him feel horrible.

"I'm sorry, just, please don't cry, I'm sorry!" he begged, hating himself for getting her upset.

"It's okay," she said quickly, wiping away her stray tears and smiling kindly. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"So, are you feeling any better?" she asked him brightly.

"Yes," he said, hoping that could somehow help the situation a bit but he didn't think he did because she just looked more saddened.

"My name is Joanna. Joanna Mitchell. I'm.. I'm your mother."

"...But I don't have a mother."

"Yes you do. You just can't remember."

Logan just stared at her, completely confused. "I'm sorry, what?"

"How old are you?" she asked him, though she still looked really sad. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like it somehow was his fault that he couldn't remember _her_. His mom.

"Hortense, could you please tell me how old you are?" she asked him again with pleading eyes and an anxious expression on her face.

"I'm ten," he answered simply.

"Oh," she said, trying to mask some of the sadness in her voice. "I wouldn't have guessed, you look a little…"

"Young?" he offered her, to which she chuckled a little bit. He was a bit glad that he was able to cheer her up a little.

She smiled warmly at him, seeming a bit happier. Just a bit. It was because of that motherly smile that he trusted her enough to ask her something that he wanted to know for a while. "Why were you mad at me?"

She blinked a little, before giving me a comforting smile. "I wasn't angry at you, sweetie. I'm just, just… under a lot of stress at work and with this all going on… I just don't know how to handle it is all." She said it nicely enough and looked at him with a look of pure concern on her face before quickly changing the subject.

"Are you hungry?" she asked out of the blue. "There's a little coffee shop downstairs if you want some food. Besides, the doctor told us that you should try and move around a little bit."

He immediately nodded without thinking. He was really hungry, and he really wanted to think about something else. "Yes, please," he said, smiling a little himself.

"Great, I'm pretty hungry myself. Come on then, there's someone waiting for you," she told me, her smile genuine, as she lightly squeezed his hand and stood up, waiting for him to follow. He smiled back, before pulling the thin sheets off him and swinging his legs out of bed to stand up.

You know that feeling you get once you're in an elevator and it starts moving it upwards? That's how he felt as soon as he lifted himself from that bed. His legs stumbled a bit as if they were new to him, and he felt dizzy as he continued to stand up. He was as tall, if not taller, than the woman who claimed to be his mom!

No, that couldn't have been right. Was she a dwarf? No, that wouldn't make sense, Dr. Humphrey were around her height. Which could only mean… He worryingly looked down at himself. Everything, his whole body was bigger, and longer and hairier! Last time he had checked, he was really short, skinny little kid.

Logan started to shake, his mind going blank with pure fear. This was just messed up! It made no sense. It was as if someone had switched his brain for someone else's. His whole body looked so strangled and warped, like one of those funhouse mirrors.

"W-what's happening to me?" he asked desperately, shaking violently. He felt sick to his stomach, and the blind terror he was feeling really wasn't helping.

"Can we get a nurse in here please!" Mrs. Mitchell shouted towards the open door, before gently and quickly helping him back down to the bed, holding him carefully. "Shhh, it's okay, sweetie. It's okay."

"N-n-no, no it's n-not!" he said, sobbing at this point, tears streaming down his face quickly and uncontrollably. "What's happening to me?"

He wanted her to tell him so badly, but she didn't answer, simply rocked him back and forth, like he was a little baby instead of ten… or whatever age he was now. He was vaguely aware of a few nurses and the doctor coming into the room, doing various things, before they made Mrs. Mitchell go away, although he really wanted her to stay, pinned him back down to the bed and gave him a shot of something. After a while it all calmed down, and he felt really tired again.

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><p><strong>AN:_ Velandrae - My sister, who is a nurse, told me that Amnesia can be "selective" to some degree. It is possible to remember you dad, siblings and friends but to forget only your mom. And it can loose your memory about somebody due to depression. It is most likely that this person will eventually "remember" over time and healing. Only in this story, Logan doesn't only forget his mom... :P_**


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